


Morgana's Redemption

by BookDragon13



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 07:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16214609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookDragon13/pseuds/BookDragon13
Summary: After the Battle of Camlann, Morgana and Emrys/Merlin have a talk, and Morgana is sorry for what she’s caused. I wrote this before the 5th season came out, so view it as an AU.





	Morgana's Redemption

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually the first fanfiction that I wrote. I originally posted it on fanfiction.net, so if it seems familiar, that's why. I wrote this way back in 2011/2012, during my senior year of high school.

A battlefield filled Morgana Le Fay’s view, full of the dead and dying. Groans, sobs, and screams filled the air. She slowly circled around, receiving an eyeful of destruction. Then, her eyes locked on the sight of her half-brother, King Arthur, seeing that he had been mortally wounded. Blood flowed freely from a side injury, despite any of Arthur’s attempts to stop it. Quickly, he became too tired to even try. He just lied there on the ground, dying. Morgana never thought that she would be sad to see Arthur die, but now she felt a tug on her heart and tears almost come to her eyes as she watched his life fade away. But she didn’t let the tears come out.

Suddenly, an old man appeared beside her. Without having known him or met him before, Morgana knew that this man was Emrys. The man that the Cailleach had said would be her destiny… and her doom. She turned to look at him, and saw a rickety old man, with a long white beard, leaning on a walking stick. Morgana could not see how such a frail and weak old man, even one as powerful as Emrys was said to be, could have caused her to fail. She turned back, and they stood there in silence, listening to the sounds of the dying. They spent so long that way, that it surprised Morgana when Emrys spoke.

“Look at the destruction your evil deeds have caused, Morgana,” he said, in a stronger voice than Morgana would have thought. “Now the Once and Future King has fallen, and few live that remember the ideals of Camelot. Chaos will reign, and no future king will be as great as Arthur. Many will mourn, for thousands have died, and the peace and prosperity of Arthur’s reign is gone forevermore. All of it brought down, destruction and chaos brought to a peaceful land, all because of one person’s quest for revenge. Your quest for revenge.”

Morgana looked again at the carnage of the battlefield in front of her. She saw Arthur taking his final breath, and felt as if her heart would burst from the sorrow from the aftermath of her choices had brought about. Days, even hours earlier, such a sight would have brought her joy, but now, Morgana felt that this battle should never have happened, that nothing she could do now would ever make up for what had happened. “Once I had hoped for this to happen, but now I wish that it never had! All I had truly wanted was for magic to be recognized as a force to be reckoned with!” Morgana cried in anguish.

“Magic is a force to be reckoned with, Morgana, but it is the choice of the person who wields it to use it for good or evil. You chose to use magic for evil, and you see the consequences of the choices you made,” Emrys told Morgana calmly. “However, using magic for good is a much stronger, though little acknowledged, force.” He looked down and sighed, “Arthur had realized this, and was beginning to help magic be known again as a power that can be used for good, not just evil. But your choices helped bring about the downfall of Camelot before Arthur’s plan could come to fruition.”

Weeping, Morgana sank to the ground. For all the things she had foreseen, such a devastating battle had not been shown to her. Even if she had wanted Camelot’s downfall to happen, she knew that it had been too soon, that Camelot, and Arthur, should have been around much longer. Morgana realized that she had destroyed many lives on her path to revenge and acceptance. Now she recognized that revenge had not brought her happiness and that though she once had been accepted, she might never be again. “What have I done?” Morgana sobbed, as she looked again at the desolation before her. “How did I let myself get to this point?”

Emrys looked at her sadly and shook his head. “Your hatred blinded you,” he explained compassionately. “It blinded you to the ramifications of what you had done. Even with your gift of prophecy, you could not have seen how many your choices would affect. Yet, despite all you’ve done, all that you have caused to happen, there is still hope for you. You can become good and turn your back from the evil you have done.”

Morgana looked up, shocked. “How?” she whispered, for she could not see a way to reverse what had happened or a way for her to redeem herself. There were too many dead, too many dreams crushed. Morgana again looked at the battlefield, despondent. “I have destroyed too many beautiful things, killed too many people, to ever hope for any kind of redemption!”

Once more Emrys shook his head, though now with a slight smile. “Hope is always near. And now that you have seen and recognize the consequences of evil, you can, if you choose, use your magic for good. It will be hard, but if anyone could accomplish such a task, you can, Morgana. I have seen you do many good and honorable things. I know that the loving, cheerful, kind Morgana is not totally lost within you. You just need to find her. Simply look inside yourself, into your heart, and you will find the true Morgana. Once you have done that, you must refrain from the evil and malicious acts you’ve done in the more recent past.”

Though she was not sure how, or even if, it would work, Morgana decided to try to do as Emrys had said. She had felt that he had spoken truth, and that he could be trusted. She closed her eyes, and soon found herself seeing her heart. It was surrounded by darkness, but Morgana could see faint glimmers of light occasionally peek through. These occasional flickers gave Morgana hope that maybe she could change, after all. She began to try pushing the darkness, and quickly realized that merely pushing away the darkness would not help. Then she tried fire, to burn away the darkness. But it didn’t work either. Not knowing what to do, she sat down, staring at her heart. This was going to take longer than she realized. After trying a few more times with the fire, as well as a few other things, Morgana was almost at the verge of giving up.

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” Morgana wondered out loud. It still seemed almost impossible for her to atone for all the evil that she had done. Not too long before absolutely giving up, she heard Emrys’ voice-“Why don’t you try remembering who you were before your hatred took control, and feeling the love you had felt then? Use those memories to pull away the darkness, and just let your hatred go.”

It’s worth a try, I guess, since nothing else I’ve tried seemed to work, Morgana thought, as she let memories flow through her. It was hard, at first, to concentrate on who she had been in Camelot, before she had become evil. There was a lot of hate for Morgana to sift through and forget. Regardless, it became easier as the darkness around her heart slowly lessened, and the glimmers grew to effervescent glows. At last, the light fully encompassed the darkness, and Morgana suddenly felt light and giddy. It was the best feeling that she’d had in a very long time.

When Morgana opened her eyes, Emrys was no longer beside her. Neither was she in the battlefield. Instead, Morgana saw that she was lying in a valley, surrounded by mountains, with a lake a few feet in front of her. She got up, looking around. Wondering aloud, she asked, “Where am I? And how in the world did I get here?”

“You are in the Valley of the Lake of Avalon,” responded a familiar voice. Morgana whirled around, and saw Merlin, a man she had not seen in ages-mostly since she had been getting revenge on Arthur, and he had been Arthur’s loyal servant. “I brought you here, to help you.”

“Merlin? What are you doing here? What happened to Emrys? How could he have disappeared and you have brought me here so quickly?” Morgana inquired.

“Why, Emrys is here. He’s standing right in front of you, and is at your service.” Merlin smiled and bowed.

Morgana frowned, confused. “Don’t joke with me, Merlin. Emrys is an old man. You’re much younger than he is. Besides, Emrys is a sorcerer.” Morgana couldn’t understand how Emrys could have been standing in front of her when Merlin was instead. Unless…

“Oh, Morgana, I’m a little surprised you haven’t figured this out yet. You’re definitely smart enough. And I can’t hide everything. I know there was a few times where I thought you’d figured this out.” Merlin laughed amiably. “Emrys and I am the same person. Emrys is what the Druids call me. I have magic. That was how I was able to change from an old man to myself and get you here so quickly. Besides, you took your own sweet time finding the true you. We have actually been here for a few days.”

Morgana couldn’t do anything but gape at Merlin. Like the battle they had been previously, Morgana hadn’t foreseen this. Yet, as she looked at Merlin, Morgana realized that there had been something familiar about Emrys, although she hadn’t thought about it, since she had been consumed with the carnage that had surrounded them. A sudden thought struck her.

“How were you able to hide your magic so well?” Morgana inquired. “Why did you keep this from me? You knew I had magic. We could have helped each other. I might have not turned out so evil!”

Merlin nodded slightly before he responded, understanding in his eyes. “Ah, yes. Concealing my magic was not easy, I’ll tell you! There were many close calls, before I told Arthur, when I thought I would be caught using magic and punished for it. I only told Arthur when I thought he was ready. That was a very long time in coming.” He looked down and frowned. “I kept my magic from you, even though I had desperately wanted to tell you, because I had no idea of what would happen, and was warned that it would be for the best if I didn’t. Who knows what would have happened if we had helped each other! I likely would have turned evil alongside you.” 

At this Morgana had to interrupt. “You could never have gone evil, Merlin! At least, not as evil I had become. You are too good-hearted, too loyal for that. I could even say you are much too wise, much wiser than I have ever been. I am sure you would have changed who I became before I could even think of becoming who I was.”

“You flatter me, Morgana. It was sometimes very tempting to not live up to my destiny, just leave Arthur to his own devices. There were quite a few times when I thought I would do just that.” Merlin began a slight smile and looked into Morgana’s eyes. Morgana couldn’t help but feel happy.

“Not to mention humble,” Morgana said with a smile, and Merlin laughed in appreciation. Unconsciously, they began to move closer to each other. “You were so much stronger than I was, Merlin. It can’t have been easy, being Arthur’s servant, and knowing you could have been killed if anyone found out, no matter what others said. I know it was hard for me, first as Uther’s ward, and then as his daughter.”

Merlin nodded. “Yes, it was extremely hard. Like I told you, there were many close calls before I felt I could reveal myself to Arthur. It helped, though, to have people standing by me. I had a wise old man and an even wiser dragon guiding me along. That was something I wish you could’ve had. Having somebody who knows, who can give you advice, and who can help you get out of trouble was what helped me get through. But, no matter what happened, no matter how evil you became, I always had hope that you would come back, that you would become good again. I just wish it hadn’t taken that battle for you to come to your senses.”

Morgana was struck with a thought that saddened her. “You were there for me, Merlin. Just neither you nor I ever realized it. You said it yourself-you had hope for me, even though I never deserved it.” Tears came again to her eyes, and, before she knew it, the floodgates she had closed earlier opened and Morgana could not stop the tears from flowing. Merlin quickly wrapped her in his arms and held her close.

“Thank you, Merlin,” she whispered between sobs. “Thank you!”

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally gonna have them kiss, but changed it


End file.
